Adapted from "Infidelity: Why Men And Women Cheat", by Kenneth Paul Rosenberg MD:
"Today a cheater is more likely than ever
before to be female. There’s a good chance that she will be a higher
earner, aged between 35 and 55. Strange as it sounds,
it’s quite possible today’s adulterer is happily married.
In recent
surveys, more than half of cheating women say they are perfectly content with their long-term relationships — but
cheat anyway.
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| More and more women are cheating... |
In simple terms, we become more likely to cheat if we are given the opportunity — and modern life is giving us more and more opportunity. Seismic sexual shifts in society are remodelling the landscape of infidelity.
In
1993, just 10 per cent of women admitted to cheating. Now, the figure
is 19.4 per cent — roughly a 50 per cent increase. A different poll
suggests women have virtually caught up with men, with 20 per cent
cheating.
The most likely cause of this
startling increase in infidelity among women is their long overdue
economic and social emancipation — which provides more opportunities to
cheat in the workplace and means women have become less reliant on men
for financial support. And women no longer face the stigma that once surrounded
adultery.
Surprisingly, well-paid and
highly educated women are significantly more likely to cheat. Research
confirms that’s especially true for university-educated women and those
who earn more than £55,000 — particularly if that’s more than their
husband’s salary.
University-educated women are also the most likely
group to instigate divorce, suggesting they feel more empowered to leave
a marriage whether or not cheating has occurred.
And
the trend for women to have more affairs seems only to be growing among
the younger generation. Research into the sexual activity of
millennials suggests that since 2011, younger women have been cheating
at rates higher than men. They are also more likely to emulate
typically ‘male’ behaviour, focusing on physical arousal, rather than
the more typically ‘female’ desire for emotional connection.
There’s
a basic rule of cheating, which is that the easier it is to do, the
more likely we will do it. Many factors — financial independence,
physical health, lack of social stigma and so on — are making affairs
easier than ever, with fewer consequences if we are caught.
And
there’s another powerful modern tool for a potential cheater: the
internet, which has revolutionised the ease of forming sexual connections outside of marriage. Infidelity
isn’t confined to secret rendezvous in hotels any longer. Today’s
philanderer can be sharing a meal with their spouse while sending texts
to their lover.
Without
exception, all of my unfaithful patients have used the internet to meet
new lovers. And since women tend to be more adept on social media — U.S.
research shows 76 per cent use it, compared with 62 per cent of men —
it’s a path to infidelity with which they are perhaps more likely to
feel comfortable.
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| The internet has revolutionised the world of sex... |
For those feeling dissatisfied
or simply a bit bored in their current relationship, it’s all too easy
for an online connection to develop into an affair that
activates the powerful desire centres in our brains.
Genetic
diversity is good for the human species, making us taller, healthier
and smarter. So our brains have evolved to prompt us to chase new and
different sexual partners, instead of the ‘safe’ people we seek out when
it comes to marriage. One study even found that women married to men who shared similar genes had more affairs.
