Cuck thoughts: Why Men and Women Cheat

Adapted from "Infidelity: Why Men And Women Cheat", by Kenneth Paul Rosenberg MD:

"Today a cheater is more likely than ever before to be female. There’s a good chance that she will be a higher earner, aged between 35 and 55. Strange as it sounds, it’s quite possible today’s adulterer is happily married. 

In recent surveys, more than half of cheating women say they are perfectly content with their long-term relationships — but cheat anyway.

More and more women are cheating...

In simple terms, we become more likely to cheat if we are given the opportunity — and modern life is giving us more and more opportunity. Seismic sexual shifts in society are remodelling the landscape of infidelity.

Even a few decades ago, women cheated only half as often as men. One highly respected study reveals that while the number of married men who have ever cheated remained stable at around 20 per cent from 1993 through to 2016, among women of all ages there is a definite upward trend.

In 1993, just 10 per cent of women admitted to cheating. Now, the figure is 19.4 per cent — roughly a 50 per cent increase. A different poll suggests women have virtually caught up with men, with 20 per cent cheating.

The most likely cause of this startling increase in infidelity among women is their long overdue economic and social emancipation — which provides more opportunities to cheat in the workplace and means women have become less reliant on men for financial support. And women no longer face the stigma that once surrounded adultery.

Surprisingly, well-paid and highly educated women are significantly more likely to cheat. Research confirms that’s especially true for university-educated women and those who earn more than £55,000 — particularly if that’s more than their husband’s salary.

University-educated women are also the most likely group to instigate divorce, suggesting they feel more empowered to leave a marriage whether or not cheating has occurred.

And the trend for women to have more affairs seems only to be growing among the younger generation. Research into the sexual activity of millennials suggests that since 2011, younger women have been cheating at rates higher than men. They are also more likely to emulate typically ‘male’ behaviour, focusing on physical arousal, rather than the more typically ‘female’ desire for emotional connection.

There’s a basic rule of cheating, which is that the easier it is to do, the more likely we will do it. Many factors — financial independence, physical health, lack of social stigma and so on — are making affairs easier than ever, with fewer consequences if we are caught.

And there’s another powerful modern tool for a potential cheater: the internet, which has revolutionised the ease of forming sexual connections outside of marriage. Infidelity isn’t confined to secret rendezvous in hotels any longer. Today’s philanderer can be sharing a meal with their spouse while sending texts to their lover.

Without exception, all of my unfaithful patients have used the internet to meet new lovers. And since women tend to be more adept on social media — U.S. research shows 76 per cent use it, compared with 62 per cent of men — it’s a path to infidelity with which they are perhaps more likely to feel comfortable.

The internet has revolutionised the world of sex...

For those feeling dissatisfied or simply a bit bored in their current relationship, it’s all too easy for an online connection to develop into an  affair that activates the powerful desire centres in our brains.

What drives people to cheat hasn’t changed down the generations — it’s a combination of biology and opportunity. After all, our brains are programmed by millions of years of evolution to seek sex and love with life-and-death desperation — and it’s not just faithful sex in a long-term relationship that we crave.

Genetic diversity is good for the human species, making us taller, healthier and smarter. So our brains have evolved to prompt us to chase new and different sexual partners, instead of the ‘safe’ people we seek out when it comes to marriage. One study even found that women married to men who shared similar genes had more affairs.